Spice Up Your Sex Life Advice
Welcome to www.sexybitsandbobs.co.uk
where we like to advice you on all aspects pertaining to Sexual Enjoyment
Is your love life losing its
spark? Has boredom crept into your bedroom? Don’t despair, what’s
happening to you is perfectly normal. Everyone falls into sexual ruts now and
then because routines, by definition, are easy and comforting. We discover one
way to get ourselves or our partners off, and then we repeat. And repeat (until
we put ourselves to sleep!).
Much as we’d like to wave our
magic wand over your bed and restore your sex life to its former glory, there
really is no one sure-fire toy or quick fix. However, with a bit of inspiration
and a willingness to explore, you’ll be surprised at how a few simple changes
can get you on the road to a more fulfilling sex life.
- Know
Thyself. In the
quest to break out of your rut, consider yourself a private eye assigned to
investigate the mysteries of your sexuality. What do you like? What do
you fantasize about? Because our society defines sex so narrowly, a lot of
people have trouble imagining sexual possibilities beyond their current
repertoire. Start your investigation with a little research. Buy a
general sex guide like The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex and take a good look
at some of the activities that may have intrigued you in the past. Maybe
you’ve always been curious about anal sex, or you’ve harbored a secret
desire to be spanked. Give yourself permission to explore them further.
- Talk
Talk Talk. Talking
to your partner about sex is crucial to developing a great sex life.
And practicing your communication skills doesn’t have to be a drag. Taking
turns telling each other hot stories is a great way to communicate to your
partner what you like or what you’d like to explore. If talking seems too
intimidating, consider writing your partner a note detailing one of your
hottest fantasies, or agree to meet online and engage in a little cybersex.
- Shake
It Up. Take a good
look at your usual sexual routine. Do you always have sex at the same place?
The same time? Does every encounter consist of the same activities in
roughly the same order? Start to imagine possibilities that excite you
beyond your usual habits. If you always have sex in bed right before you
fall asleep, what would happen if you initiated sex in the morning or on a
weekend afternoon when you don’t have any obligations? Think about your
sexual patters. Do you and your sweetie always indulge in a good, serious
hour of lovemaking? Or do you like it quick and dirty? If you usually put
aside an hour or two for sex, try a quickie. And vice versa.
- Try
Something New. In a
society that discourages sexual exploration and gives us only a small menu
of sexual choices appropriate for “good people,” it takes courage and
initiative to try new things. However, one of the best things about
exploring new avenues in your sex life is that it builds intimacy between
partners. On top of that, change requires risk-taking, which all by itself
can set your pulse racing. Make the commitment to try at least one new thing
each month. You can start small: masturbate with a new toy or try a new sex
position, or go for something more ambitious, like a foray into anal sex or
BDSM. Now’s the time to accept your desires and get to work.
- Sex
Dates. That’s
right, make a date for sex. By planning sex dates, you and your partner are
reaffirming the importance of sex in your life, and you’re actively
creating the time and space for sex. Although it seems counter-intuitive,
you’re not taking all the spontaneity (and excitement) out of your sex
life. By penciling sex dates in on your calendar, you tap into a key
ingredient of sexual arousal: anticipation. Sex dates shouldn’t be just
another obligation in your already busy schedule; they’re an opportunity
to put all of your everyday worries on the back burner and completely enjoy
sex.
- Play
Games. Erotic games
are a great way to introduce new ideas into your relationship in a fun and
non-threatening way. They also take the pressure off either of you to
initiate sex. Games like The
Adult Paint Box, Dirty
Minds, and the The
Game For Sex leave the sexual activity up to chance, so you're encounters
don't have a pre-scripted quality. Chocolate
Body Paint give you the opportunity to create edible artwork on your
lover's body.
- Higher
Learning. Beyond
general sex guides, there’s a fascinating array of sex books and videos
available these days. And there’s always something new to learn.
Pick up a couple books or videos on subjects you’ve always been curious
about or know nothing about at all. If you catch yourself thinking "I'm
just not the kind of person who could read a book about sex," remember
that videos offer a great way to actually learn and practice at the same
time. Be adventurous in your exploration of sexuality. Some subjects
that people are generally curious about are covered in books and DVD’s
like What
Women Want, and What
Men Want.
- Good
for a Laugh. And
last but not least, try to lighten up in the bedroom. Don't worry so much
about performance, timing, or expectations. Just set out to have fun, and
don't be afraid to laugh at yourselves. Why not break the ice and start out
with a good laugh—try strapping a Remote
Butterfly over your clit or the dual-vibrator Betty
Jo cock ring over your penis—and you'll be smiling while getting your
buzz on.
Enjoy yourselves! Don't get so
focused on change, or unrealistic expectations that you forget to relax and
enjoy the ride. Remember, we can tell you how to spice things up, but you've got
to supply the main ingredients: enthusiasm, humor, and imagination!
